Since it’s Back to Work in a few weeks, time to see what I’ve been doing on my maternity leave:
06:30am Woken up by husband crashing through the front door
06:45 Put J’s dummy back in and try to nod off.
07:30 J is awake and squeaking. Get up, change him, go downstairs.
07:45 Attempt to gauge how much milk J needs. Guestimate 5oz and make 8oz to use leftovers in Ready Brek
08:00 J finishes all 8oz in bottle.
08:05 Use dregs and warm water to make rusk rather than porridge.
08:10 J plays on the floor with the wiimote and a cushion. I eat my breakfast and drink tea. J climbs up my legs to get my mug.
08:40 Put J in his cot with his bubbles on and toys. I have a shower.
09:05 Leave shower (don’t judge, I have really long hair), reassure J I haven’t disappeared, get dressed, sort hair.
09:30 Take J downstairs. Read Dear Zoo. Again. Sing twinkle twinkle, Incy Wincey and The Grand Old Duke. Attempt to convince J he is not tired. Give him toys and remote again.
09:45 Feed the guinea pig, put chicken in slow cooker. J getting cross. Make 4oz bottle.
09:55 J unconscious after 3oz milk. Take to bed.
10:00 – 12:05 Wash and sterilise bottles, receive post, read and annotate 1/4 book for Uni, email friend in India, buy item on Amazon, check bank balance, join forum, catch up on Tweets, stir chicken, blog, stare into space, write 1st half of this blog
12:05 J wakes up. Change and bring downstairs. Start lunch. Baby pasta mixed in parsnip purée for J, tikka wraps for me. J helps by skidding around in his baby walker.
12:20 – :45 Lunch. J eats his parsnip pasta and then snatches a Pom-bear off my plate. Worry vaguely about how much salt is in Pom-bears. Feed J a yoghurt for pudding. Eat some of it myself.
12:45 – 1:30 Playtime! Play with the walker, bumbo, rattles, cushions, chewy toys. J does lots of pulling up and climbing.
1:30 Go out for a walk.
2:05 Back home. Read Dear Zoo. Play with a mirror and pair of socks.
2:20 Make J a bottle and feed him.
2:35 J falls asleep. Watch catch-up TV as he’s sleeping on my knee.
3:00 The Mr wakes up and comes downstairs.
3:10 J wakes up grumpy. We play and sing.
4:00 Microwave jacket potatoes, then place in oven.
4:30 Cebeebies goes on. Dinner dished up. TV goes off and all three sit at table. Spoon chicken, potato, sauce into J’s gaping maw. J feeds himself bread.
5:00 After pudding The Mr gets ready for work. J and I watch an episode of Pokemon.
5:30 Pack dishwasher while J plays with a hairbrush and a tea towel.
6:00 J gets grumpy. Let him ‘kiss’ lots
and try to wrestle me. I’m covered in spit. J gets grumpier. Swing him about as he squeals.
6:15 J is sicky, possibly see above.
6:20 Eat walnut whip in knee-jerk response to grumpy child.
6:23 J attempts to steal walnut whip, ends up planting his nose into the whip.
6:23 (and 4 seconds) J cries, covered in whip. Take his photo before wiping him.
6:25 Sit J on the sofa and allow him to climb and pull up all over the cushions. Soon laughing again, doing weird crawling (bum in air) etc.
6:45 Read ‘That’s not my panda’ and ‘baby animals’. J gums all the books.
6:50 Play peepo and ticklish ribs.
6:55 J cries. Decide it’s bath time.
7:05 Put J on my bed with his owl puppet. J ecstatic. Does celebratory poo. Decide to feed the guinea pig first.
7:10 Stop bath running, pull blinds down, close curtains, gather PJs, vest and Nighttime Nappy before changing / undressing J. Bath time begins.
7:20 Bath time ends with J trying to escape up the tap. Dry him, dress him, take him downstairs, put him on the floor.
7:21 J cries as I make a bottle.
7:22 Bottle made (praise jeebus for the Perfect Prep machine), start feeding J.
7:35 J burped and unconscious. Put to bed. Come down and tidy up. Make milkshake. Watch Sewing Bee. Write blog.
9:00 Sewing Bee disappoints. Watch 2 episodes of Gavin&Stacey on Netflix.