One Born Every Minute

Ah, the program you’re told not to watch when pregnant.

But I watched it like it was going out of fashion. It was, for me, basically a ‘what not to do’ guide. And sue me, I like the drama and stories.

So given the new series starts on Monday, in a new hospital, here are some things I’d like to see in Season Five:

Fewer Interventions. Yes, I gather that birth canot be planned (I seem to recall going through it myself), and sometimes shit happens, but there do seem to be rather a lot of interventions in the past series, and I always wondered if a lot of them were for the benefit of the cameras.

Women moving about. Get off that bed, lady. Even when the trace machines are removed, loads of women seem to just lie on the bed like wet fish. Get a wriggle on.

Water / hynobirths. Or active births. Or nature-driven births. Orgasmic births. Anything that isn’t lying on that damn bed, really.

Delayed cord clamping. Maybe it was just my hospital, but I assumed this was common practice all over these days.

Breast feeding support. Midwifery doesn’t end after the baby plops out. And speaking of which…

Delivery of the placenta. It happens. Let’s see it. I actually received compliments about my placenta, so I don’t mind looking at other people’s.

Last but not least… Women coming into the hospital ACTUALLY IN LABOUR. Not 1cm dilated, or having cramps, but proper, serious labour than means there are hours to go, not days.

Thanks for listening, Channel 4!